My Quest to Be a Single Dad

Author Garry White’s instinctual desire to love and provide a home for disadvantaged youth has been denied again and again on the basis of what appears to be personal bias and an isolated episode of mental illness several years in the past. In My Quest to Be a Single Dad, Garry fights the social implication and double standard that single men are unfit to be parents. Anyone involved in social family services or potential adopters will be intrigued by this determined author’s tale of continued rejection and refusal social stigmas. Single adults hoping to adopt will also find valuable tips on the dos and don’ts of adoption, many of which Garry had to learn the hard way.

My Quest to be a Single Dad is the moving story of Garry White’s desire to provide love and stability for needy children. Garry opened my eyes to the flaws in today’s social service system—a flawed system at best if they continue to turn down such a wonderful candidate.
— Emilie Dyson, child development specialist, Bastrup, Texas

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Table of Contents

Foreword
Prologue: Getting to Know Me
The Quest Begins

• Grandpa
• The Facts of Life
• The Wake-Up Call
• If a Monkey Can Do It, I Can Too
• The First Homeless Boy

The Single Foster Dad

• A Better Placement

The Grief of a Weekend Single Dad
Boy Scout Troop 848

• Wood Badge
• Scout Summer Camp
• Getting into Troop 848
• Campout Number One—Solve Problems
• Campout Number Two—Not be a Burden on Others
• Campout Number Three—What the Boy Scouts Learned
• Campout Number Four—How to Stop Two Boys’ Fighting
• Campout Number Five—How to Deal with a Hyperactive Teenager
• Grand Canyon Goal Realized

Boy Scout Troop YCF: Bad Boys in Prison

• YCF Experience Number One
• YCF Experience Number Two
• YCF Experience Number Three

Try Every Five Years for Twenty-Four Years

• Try Again: 1989
• Try Again: 1994
• Try Again: 2001
• Try Again: 2002—Private Agency Rimstone Adoptions—Domestic Again
• Try Again Internationally
• Early 2004: Rimstone International Adoption Agency
• Late 2004: Agency Parent Maker and Immigration

Plan B: The Tucker Family

• Grand Canyon
• Weekend Substitute Parent
• Harvey
• Al
• Wes
• Christmas
• A Problem or a Gift?
• Supporting My Quest

My Big Final Try: International Again

• References
• Another Home Study
• Immigration

Now What? The Big Debate

• Decision for Second Application
• Second Appeal
• The Five Rimstone Concerns
• Why Two or Three Children?
• My Brother’s Position
• Fox’s Appeal Brief

Plan B Again

• My Rebuttal
• Implementing Plan B Again
• Another Big Hike
• Ceremony of Loss

Section 504 and Me
Another Child Victim
Epilogue: The Best and True Dad

• My Comparison to a Two-Parent Family
• My Dreams Are Now a Fantasy
• Continuing My Quest

Appendix A: My Letter to Rimstone Adoption Agency
Appendix B: Tips to Become a Single Adoptive Dad
Bibliography

Dedication

To all homeless children and child victims of predators.